alright, so last night was the second city wide worship event at foellinger theatre--and it was a blast! i'm not sure of the official count, but there were over 1200 at the last event...and there were definitely a lot more people there last night. it was so cool to see thousands of people worshiping god--regardless of denomination or church. if you couldn't make it out, make sure you go to fwcitywideworship.com to get the cd we recorded (i sing oceans will part, i give you my heart, & how great is our god :) ) and be on the lookout for the live dvd to come out soon!

here are some pictures from last night--these are some that my dad took...and as only a dad can, he took mostly pictures of his daughter. so i apologize for the apparent act of vanity--but i promise as soon as i have some pictures from other sources i will put them up :)

Currently Listening: City Wide Worship: The Worship That Changed A City

Currently Listening Like a Star By Corinne Bailey Rae see related

hidden treasure

this past wednesdsay i returned from nine days in sunny, beautiful florida. after a full year without a break or vacation, marco island was calling my name...turns out i was much in need of some serious rest and relaxation. it's amazing how run down our bodies, minds, and spirits get without much attention. our vacation spot throughout my childhood was always marco island, florida; so of course my time there last week was very nostalgic, retrospective, full of memories...

i spent my entire first day at the beach; i was desperate to feel the sand between my toes, the salty air against my skin, the ocean breeze in my hair, to hear the crash of the waves...no music, no books: just being. it was beautiful. i took a walk along the shoreline to look for shells and to see some of the old spots my family used to vacation. as the water and sand were sneaking between my toes and the hot sun was greeting my shoulders, i couldn't help but recall one specific memory.

i had to have only been 3 years old or so, because paul avram wasn't born yet. it was getting close to sunset, and my dad and me were walking along the waterside together. he always told me that if you see a small flash of light just as the sun sets beneath the ocean water, it's a sign of good fortune; so we were watching for the marvelous display of light to bestow itself on us.

after we had walked for a few minutes, we could see my mom waiting just a few steps in front of us. suddenly, my dad looks down in the sand and cries out, 'sister! look! it's a sand dollar!' and, with a respone only childhood wonder can produce, my eyes burst open and i gasped outloud at the beauty of this tiny, flat wonder of the world. i can still remember wrapping my fingers around it and holding it tight the rest of the night; completely in shock that such an unlikely event would happen to me.

i don't remember when exactly it dawned on me that my dad had planted the sand dollar and that my mom had been standing guard over it. maybe it was when i was old enough to realize that sand dollars don't naturally produce little ribbons nicely tied in bows on the top. so now, walking on the beach by myself some 18 years later, i smiled at the creativity my parents put in to amusing me.

as i was looking out over the ocean, i started to wonder if i would have been so in love with that shell if my father had simply given it to me right at the store...if he had handed it to me at the hotel in a plastic bag.

of course not.

it was the thrill of finding it.

i was in love with that shell--and i still have--because i found it. because finding a sand dollar is not something that happens to everybody when they go to florida. because i found it with my mom and dad.

why doesn't god answer our prayers in an audible voice?

why doesn't he tell us everything we need and want to know about the future?

why doesn't he keep us from pain and hurt and hard times?

why does he make us go through divorce and church splits and broken relationships?

why did jesus speak in parables and stories and not just say what he meant?

why doesn't god just make everything work out perfectly, in order?

why does he feel so far away?

because he knows we won't appreciate it unless we find it ourselves.

he knows if he just hands it to us in a plastic bag with the receipt still in the bottom, we won't value it at all...it's just another cheap souveneir.

but if we're walking hand in hand with our father, if we're looking to the Son...despite the sand that gets in to places it shouldn't and the salt water that stings wounds and dampens formerly dry clothes...

we'll find it when we least expect it...when we're not even looking for it.

Currently Listening Time Without Consequence By Alexi Murdoch see related

even breathing feels all right.

if not already, going to concerts needs to be a huge priority on your list of 'things-to-do-on-a-very-regular-basis.'

this past thursday j and i (has anyone noticed i like to call those closest to me by a single letter?) drove four hours south to the great city of louisville to see alexi murdoch (change your life forever: http://www.aleximurdoch.com ). after surviving an hour and a half standstill on the world wonder that is i-69 and a frustrating drive through very shady parts of the ol' kentucky town, we arrived at headliner's music hall with anticipation and relief in our hearts.

the venue was beautiful; a sort of 1960's old brick building tucked away in the industrial side of the city; a hidden treasure. inside was a room jam-packed with people; the walls were painted with flapper-like resemblances long faded by the abuse of time. on a poorly lit stage stood alexi murdoch in all of his european air. the lights were perfectly aimed as to simultaneously hide the exact features of his face and illuminate the beauty of his guitar and lanky stature.

to refer to the past few weeks and months 'stressful' would be like labeling sadness of the stomach 'refreshing.' life has been demanding. the transition of leadership and the remolding of family and the loss of relationships and the role of a shepherd and on and on and on have all slowly climbed upon my shoulders, into my heart, and between the cracks of my subconscious until all i can do sometimes is put my face in the carpet. life is a beautiful thing; but it is also a stressful, demanding, heartbreaking, and frustrating thing.

january is supposed to be the most depressing month of the year. i believe it. reading my journals from past years i always sound like a crazed emotional whacko in january. it's dark and cold all the time, the holidays are over and spring break is an eternity away, valentine's day looms for many around the corner with all it's depressing demands for intimacy and adoration, and nobody likes any of their christmas presents any more. the buzz from summer camps and fall memories has long faded. winter coats start to feel more like mobile prisons instead of shields from the elements. the beauty of snow brings momentary bliss; but then settles in the reality of fatal car accidents and white-turned-mush and the isolation due to lack of travel.

lately it seems like a do and do and do and work and work and work...but it never feels like i'm really accomplishing anything. write new worship songs, plan the message for wednesday, write the sunday school lesson, send out newsletters, write bible studies, organize leadership team meetings, start a drama department, pay bills, go to the bank, go to the post office, feed the dog, feed the cat, get the oil changed, go to prayer meeting, buy new guitar strings, get a haircut, get a new drivers license, go to kids show choir concerts, go to kids school plays, call all the kids, meet with parents, register for the winter retreat, order tshirts for the winter retreat, budget the youth fund, call mom, call dad, call yoohoo, do, get, run, go, pay, check off, fulfill, accomplish, plan, organize, get, do, run, go, check off, fulfill, finish, accomplish, call, plan, organize...

AAGGGHHHH!

too much.

but i stepped in to a music hall on thursday night; packed full with crazy drunks and yelling guys and obnoxious girls--all expecting to hear some rockin' out, jam band...and i watched a single man on a guitar with a voice like honey lull them all into a state of silence.

each chord he struck sang serenity.

each word he sang spoke....

peace.

peace.

peace.

peace.

peace.

with each passing song the room filled with more and more air of meditation and reflection; his words and his demeanor and the presence his existence demanded was a hope and a tranquility that sank in to everyone's bones and souls.

i could feel my heart start to beat again.

"but when i'm alone; when i've thrown off the weight of this crazy stone, when i've lost all care for the things i own--that's when i miss you...you are my home.

"sometimes i feel like i'm drowning..actually it's more like most of the time. but every now and then when i am sleeping i still have a dream i can fly...

"now i see clearly it's you i'm looking for, all of my days. soon i'll smile i know i'll feel this loneliness no more, all of my days. for i look around me and it seems he found me and it's coming in to sight as the days keep turning in to nights...

"may the grace of god be with you always and your heart always know you're in the right place and may you always know that you're a part of something beautiful...and i thought i saw a light shine: shine"

nothing alexi did ever really let on to his religious beliefs; but i am fairly inclined to believe that he is not necessarily a follower of christ. yet i think that what j and i witnessed on thursday night was the epitome of christ's behavior.

he stepped in to a room of busy, yelling, talking, screaming, drinking, hormone-crazed people--of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, lifestyles, personalities--and brought peace.

simply by doing what he was created to do.

we try to hard to do the work of the holy spirit on our terms and time tables and abilities and wisdom. we try so hard to memorize all the right lines and right verses and right catchy phrases to say when called upon. to force ourselves to win attention and accalaides and to be noteworthy. to figure out exactly what jesus would say and what words he would use. all the right christian answers.

...no thanks.

in the whirlwind of life's mess and beauty and struggle, i don't want your words. i want your peace.

what good will our words do if the peace of god is not in them?...all of christ-like actions if they are not done with the motive of bringing peace? is all the hype and noise and clapping and shouting and preaching and doing and accomplishing and witnessing only getting in the way of god's silencing the seas?

the quiet presence of hope. the bright and shining subtle light of peace.

maybe if we tried less to force our views of abortion and homosexuality and political parties and to promote our self helps books and profound blogs and life-changing ministries and amazing programs andblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah and more so to purposefully speak and bring and live peace in to every situation and room and conversation we walk in to...maybe then the world would hear less of our voice and see more of the peace of god active in our everyday lives.

then...

maybe they would see jesus.

...and not me.

in the peace.

peace.

oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree...

  once upon a very merry christmas, there was a beautiful christmas tree.

unfortunately, this beautiful christmas tree was also a pre-lit christmas tree. so after the festivities were over and it was time for the tree to go back to it's dwelling place up in the attic, the family that owned the christmas tree noticed that many of the light strands were out. the family was ignorant of the fact that if the tree was simply taken back to its place of purchase, the lights would be replaced for them. but being a wise man, the father decided that the family should rip out every single light strand from the tree. after an hour and a half of 5 people ripping & cutting strands out of the christmas tree, the lights still prevailed. the father was so angry, he ripped off the top of the tree.

now that the beautiful christmas tree was ruined, the son flippantly said that the family should incinerate the tree. immediately the father replied, "the kerosene is in the garage." so, the son and the strapping young man that was dating the daughter carried the now-broken and lightless christmas tree out to the backyard.

the whole family stood around the tree and retrospectively said a few last words on their favorite memories of the tree. then, it's branches were soaked in kerosene, and the three young folk set fire to the tree.

the flames reached over 20 feet high, and huge billows of black smoke threatened to spread the fire to the real trees in the family's backyard. thankfully, the fire department was not called...but the beautiful christmas tree had officially celebrated it's last christmas.

the end.